Back to Normal

I have to admit it. I am one of those who got affected by the typhoon. I did not realize that it would reach that point. Floods entered our home. This is actually the second time it happened. This means that the flood is really very high. My mother and I had to prevent our things, sala set, threadmill, etc. to get wet. After 5 hours, the floods subsided. A lot of dirt remained inside our house. Hence, we needed to clean them up. Before this, I said to myself that I did not want to have my weekly exercise. But because of this, I really burned a lot of calories cleaning up the mess and moving things here and there. It took us more than an hour to clean up our house. We did not put everything back yet to its place because it might rain and floods might enter our house once again. We just started cleaning every corner of our house this morning when we woke up. I mopped the floor and swept every dirt I saw. We put everything in order again. It's good to feel that everything is back to normal again.

To those who really got affected with the typhoon, I hope that you can get over with what happened as soon as you can. (It is so unfortunate for those who lost their loved ones.)

Nature really strikes back, for real.

The Guy I used to Like

Well, I think I have to write this blog tonight.

I received a SMS this afternoon. It says, “Kain ka na beh.” It came from a guy whom I used to like so much. I replied, “Huh?” I knew that it was not really sent to me. He answered, “Wrong sent.” It was for his partner and not for me. I really knew it. I did not know if he were really teasing me or what. But one thing is for sure, I am over him.

We’ve known each other for a couple of years now. He was introduced to me by a friend from UP. I did not know he was with someone that time. He just informed me about it when I said that I was attracted to him. He warned me about it. But I should admit that I did not listen to him.

He is a cool guy. I like talking to him. He is talkative and sensible. From physical attraction, it ascended to a more complicated attraction. I liked him, really. A partner material indeed. But the problem is he’s committed with someone.

By the way, he’s taller than I am by an inch, I think. One of my waterloos.

I did not give up. I really tried my best to have him. I said that I liked him so much. He was nice to me and so on. It came to a point that he also said that he liked me too. But he could not give up his partner for me. The feeling was mutual. I liked him and he liked me. I became contented with that kind of set-up for a month or two.

Eventually, I became more demanding. I wanted to see him and have a date with him. He always said no as an answer. He kept on telling me that he was busy in school and with his partner. I told him that if he really wanted to see me, he would make ways to meet me up. But he did not exert any effort to see me. So I started nagging him about it as if I were his partner. As I said, I became more demanding. I wanted him to fill in all my needs for a partner. We always had an exchange of arguments, a never-ending one, until I realized I should stop this because it would go nowhere. I told him not to text me anymore. Or, in other words, I wanted to cut off our communication lines.

I did not know what kept me attached to him and vice versa. Our communication lines have become open after 3 months of not talking to each other. This time, it is clear to both of us that we are just friends. But I could not help liking him still. As far as I remember, I told him that I still liked him just to make things clearer. During those times that we met and had a friendly date, I felt that I was being cared for by a “partner”. I appreciated everything that we did during our friendly dates. It became a vicious cycle. I liked him more and more.

Since both of us are of same age, we became busy when we were in our fourth year in college. But I think, I got busier. And as time went on, I rarely talked to him via SMS. I even lost my appetite for him. I treated him the way he treated before (the least priority). We had not seen each other for more than 6 month until he asked me out last July. I invited him to visit my office. After work, we would go and eat out. The moment I saw him, I just wanted to say “Hi! Thanks for the time but I think I do not want to spend more time with you now.” When I thought of this, I knew that I was over him. I do not like him anymore. I do not need someone like him to be inspired. I do not need someone who will treat me as his last priority. I do not need a so-called friend if he cannot be a real friend to me. I am over him. Indeed.

Now, he was just one of the guys I used to like. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Bakit nga ba dapat akong makakita ng taong HOT?

Di ko alam kung dapat akong maasar. Nakakita ako ng 2 super HOT na guys ngayong araw na ito.

Teka, paano ko nga masasabing HOT. Gusto ko kasi matangkad. At magandang magdala ng damit. Super HOT na sa akin yun. Eh kaninang tanghali, may nakita akong super hot. Cute. Matangkad. Grabe, nainggit ako kung paano niya dalin ang pananamit niya. Ngayong gabi naman pauwi ako, eh may nakasalubong ako sa kanto namin. Ang hot niya rin. Cute din. Wala na akong masabi. Pero di ko natitigang mabuti dahil naglalakad kaming pareho. Sayang. hehe!

Bakit nga ba may mga taong uber HOT! Nakakaasar. hehe!

He made my day!

Pagkauwi ko, may nagsend ng message sa akin using YM. Nag-hi. The second message came from him again asking someone kung kilala ko ba. Siyempre kahit pagod na pagod ako kasi kakauwi ko lang ay nag-online na lang ako agad. Minsan lang talaga kami magkausap. As in very rare ito. Kaya I always grab the oppurtunity na pwede akong makipagkwentuhan sa kanya. Super busy kasi yun. Doctor kasi. Habang ginagawa ko ang blog na ito ay online siya.

Eto pa ang nakakatawa, inadd niya ako sa Facebook! Eh kahapon lang I looked for him sa facebook kung may account na ba siya. Pero unfortunately, wala pa. Ngayon, biglang nakita ko sa friends request, inadd niya ako! Parang naalala ko pa, super tagal ko na siyang inadd sa friendster pero until now di niya pa ako na-add, pero ayun inadd na niya ako sa facebook. Ang nakakatuwa sa kanya, siya lagi ang nagri-reach out sa akin. Well, I always try to text him kaso dahil sa sobrang busy niya, hindi siya nakakapag-reply at di rin siya madalas nakakapag-online. Ang nakakatuwa and I have to admit it na nakakapagpakilig sa akin eh yung pagPM niya sa akin sa YM. Laging "Hi ..." with smiley pa minsan. I really appreciate that. Kasi... basta, crush ko kasi siya dahil sa sobrang smart niya at masayang kausap. Well, sabi nga nila nameet ko ang taong makakapagstimulate sa akin intellectually.

Sadly, I really think na straight siya. Pero it does not really matter. Okay na sa akin na we talk even seldom na nga. Masaya ako ngayong gabi kahit pagod ako from work. Sana mapasyal ulit siya sa workplace ko at makita at makapagkwentuhan ulit ako sa kanya. :-)

Status: Has no friend!

Habang pauwi na ako galing sa work, nakasabay ko sa bus yung high school friend ko. Well, one of my closest friends before. Pero, dahil na rin magkahiwalay kami ng college sa university kung saan kami nag-aaral, eh nagkaroon na siya ng new set friends. And, feeling ko mas close na talaga siya dun. Di na rin kami nagkakatext or nagkakausap sa phone. Ayaw ko nang ako ang unang nagrireach out kasi nakakapagod na. Even isang simpleng text tulad ng "Kumusta na?" eh wala ako natatanggap mula sa kanya.

Mukha bang nagdadrama ako? Ramdam ko kasi talaga ang paglayo niya sa akin bilang kaibigan niya dati. Kanina, wala lang. Ang treatment ko sa kanya ay parang ordinaryong kakilala na lang. Ewan ko ba, feeling ko talaga wala akong closest friend. Nagkwento siya about her closest friend ngayong college na about to migrate na sa States. Aalis na this Monday. Umiiyak daw siya dahil sobrang lungkot nang pag-alis nung friend niya na yun. Naisip ko lang bigla, kung ako kaya ang magmamigrate, iiyakan din kaya niya ako? Malulungkot din kaya siya tulad nang pagkalungkot niya ngayon? I really doubt na Yes ang sagot niya...

Stupidity

Naging busy ako these past few days. Ang dami kasing kailangang gawin. Eh, sa dami nun, sa Facebook lang ako laging nakakapag-surf kapag online ako. Tapos, kahapon, gusto kong magblog. Di ko alam kung bakit, pero may mga ideya sa utak ko na gusto kong ilabas dito.

Kaya ang ginawa ko, nag-online ako. Nang magsasign in na ako, mali raw ang password ko! Nalimutan ko rin yung email na gamit ko rito. Di ko sigurado kung may underscore o wala. Nalito ako bigla dahil na rin sa tagal kong hindi nakakagawa ng blog. Nakasampung beses akong mag-sign in pero laging failed! Mali ang username ko ata. Mali rin ata ang password ko. Di ko alam kung bakit ako nalito. I tried every possible combination, pero I failed. Kaya di ako nakapagblog kahapon.

Tonight, I tried it again. (Kung gagana nga.) Ayun, isang try pa lang, gumana agad kaya nakapagpost ako ng blogs ko ngayon! Stupidity nga naman. hahaha!

Facebook Mania in Town

I noticed that this social networking site has become a mania already! Many really got hooked with this site. Perhaps, it's because it's not just like Friendster but it offers more applications like games.

It sounds so funny when you hear people talking about these lines:

"Hoy! Bilin mo na ko. Sige na. Bilin mo na ko sa Friends for Sale!"

"Nakabili ka na ba ng lupa? Ako meron na. Kaso, wala pa akong buto ng talong."

"Uy, bakit ganoon ka? Di mo raw inaadd yung Mama ni ... sa Facebook."

Grabe, even parents and other oldies are getting addicted with this. Mas nakakatawang marinig kung oldies na ang nag-uusap tungkol sa games and other applications sa Facebook.

Truly, this site has become a part of life nowadays of people. They cannot withstand a day without checking their accounts, or even playing Mafia Wars or checking out their farms.

Thank God, because I am not really into games. I just like commenting on people's status whenever they are intruguing. Plus, I get to add my crush back in high school! lols.

What should I do now?

Lately, I've been thinking about my being single-blessedness. I've been single for two years now since my last relationship. I'm missing to have a special someone. I'm missing to have someone I will care about. I'm missing everything when in a relationship.

My last relationship was very meaningful to me. It was my first relationship when I thought maturely. I've started to think that relationship is a commitment and is not just about having someone to have sex with. He was so sweet. And, every time I was with him, I felt like I was really happy. It was so sweet of him when he went to school to fetch me. I loved hearing his stories. It was as if perfect.

But everything has need to come to an end. We broke up. He was still "playful." Actually, he is a year younger than I am. He was still immature. He did not want talk about serious things about our relationship. I caught his messages with someone inviting him for sex. It really got into my nerves that time. And he was insisting that it was nothing. I did not even hear him say sorry for what he did. It really ruined everything I had for him. I still loved him then but how could I trust someone like him if he did not know when to apologize when he owes one.

After that relationship, (if he considers it as one) I got fed up. Why did it happen when I was ready to be mature enough to handle a relationship? It was unfair. But, I do not consider it as karma. It was just that I met the wrong person when I was about give my all.

I am still waiting. 2 years and counting...

By the way, out of desperation, I tried to have online chat in IRC in the past couple of days. I was able to talk to 3 people, whom I thought were decent and sensible enough. But then, nothing beyond that happened. It was all online chat. I even tried to use my G4M (now, Planet Romeo) again after being stagnant for a year already. I sent messages to those whom I thought were sensible and were not after-sex-only type. Of course, most of them would ask my pictures. By the way, I did not post my pictures in my account. So, when I sent them, I got no replies already! ahaha! Oh well, that's life. But I have to admit it, it gives me some dabs of depression right now. Maybe, that's why I wrote this. (I cannot write something if I were not motivated.)

So now, the question is, what should I do now?